HI peeps!

It has been two weeks since I have posted anything. Although I counted the post on the 17th, it really should not count since it barely had three or four sentences. Our Esther Bible Study is complete. Wow!!! What a neat take on Esther. The whole book from chapter one to chapter ten is a REVERSAL OF FORTUNE, a REVERSAL OF DESTINY. During the study I also began a reversal of Destiny. I am letting God do his work without a great deal of talk about it outside of the study. But WOW!!! This week I dropped another 1.5 lbs bringing the total so far to 20 pounds. Lately, I am learning that it is more about my destiny than a stopping point. Oh what a blessing that my clothes are fitting. More than layers on my body, it is about the clothing of my heart in His story. If I chose, He writes my life into His story. He will give His story with or without me, but I am so blessed that he choses to make my life part of His story. The last point in the study encouraged us that though on earth time diminishes beauty, in God's plan time perfects beauty. We are going to start the study of Daniel the second Wednesday in April. I can hardly wait. I hope I see you there.

Esther-Reversal of Destiny

Arg!!! This program does not let me copy and paste. Not good. I have just typed up what I have been going through the last 2 months, and I cannot copy to hear.

Fun, Freezing, Funeral, Family, Friends

My title sums up the weekend for me. Friday, I went to a yardsale and found quite the goodies, mostly books.

Saturday, I did a Senior Portrait Drape shot in the morning, and it rained the rest of the day. Saturday evening, we met our son, Jon, our daughter, Jessica, and her husband, Brian, at the mall for dinner at Max Orient. I have been dreaming of the tangy BarBQ chicken for about 2 months. I think they changed their recipe, or I just built the food up in my mind way too much. I think the leftovers are better than the fresh cooked taste. Maybe the flavors marinate in more after a day or two.

Sunday, I was blessed to be able to ride to Gadsden and do some engagement pictures for a friend. We froze on the streets of Gadsden, Alabama. After the shoot, I went over to the Green Trail, a Save-Our-Waters Project trail. I spent more time there than anywhere else in Gadsden.

This morning, Monday, I had mu husband wake me up since I will be going to a funeral at 11. I wanted to get some things accomplished around the house before I leave. The laundry is almost done, and I have sorted through and narrowed down the 400+ engagement pictures to less than 200. The bride will select her favorites tomorrow. Since I have not accomplished as much as I had hoped this morning, maybe one of the things on my list should be to make a list for tomorrow morning. Then, I should stay focused. Even this post was not on my to-do list today, but I am glad that I posted.

Yesterday, proved quite a test for me. I have been involved in a Bible study for about 5 weeks on Esther. It is written by Beth Moore. I am amazed at how much I never saw in this book. This week we are looking at Haman's attitude towards honor and praise, his hunger for it, and his drive to be lord over a kingdom. I aasked the Lord to help me pull out any wickedness in my heart that desires mans praise and AttaBoys. Not too long after that, one of my "friends," who I have been waiting on for such praise and adoration because I took pictures at her wedding, not only blows my bubble of expectation but shoots right through my heart with so many false accusations that I am still befuddled at the whole thing. The wedding was eight months ago. My son told me to examine the information to see if I can own any of it and work on those things. Everything in me wants to hold court, petition the experts, and help her to erase such ludicrous ideas from her head. I do take courage in the fact that most of what she said was outright lies and not misunderstandings. If it had been misunderstandings, then it would be my fault too for a breakdown in communication, but except for my take charge "bossiness" and "pushiness" it was lies. She accused me of purposely interfering with the main photographers ability to get good pictures, flash collision, and telling everyone things I never said. So here I am asking the Lord once again to pull out of me my desire to be a people pleaser, craving honor as Haman did, and seeking the praise of man.
My son says do not dwell on the lies but take truth, dismiss the other, and look for the higher ground.
My husband says she sounds like a friend not worth having.
It is true that the higher ground is not as crowded, but sometimes I get distracted by the lower roads forking off.
Then last night I hear this quote at the end of CSI. Two guys are talking and the one expresses a desire to have evil punished severly. I loved what the other guy warned, "Careful . . . evil has a way of making friends with the good and dragging them into the darkness."

What an awesome week spiritually for me.
A couple weeks ago, I envisioned this new woman because I got a haircut, my contacts finally came in, and changes in me because of Bible study. It's true; my haircut is shorter than it has been in a long time. My eyes shine more without glasses to hide behind. Most changes are inner workings that only I can see.

Another major thing not necessarily for me, but a dear, dear friend sits at the bedside of her dying grandmother. It could be any day. The pain of my friend's heart saying goodbye and not sure when the final goodbye will be is hard. I want to make it better, to hold them tight, but to hold her hand is all I can do. I know it helps just being there, but I want to do more. Two weeks ago our Esther study was about Esther's desire to ease Mordecai as he sat at the gates in sackcloth and ashes. Humans have a hard time looking into pain and suffering without desiring to ease or erase it.

Today is a new day. I still need breakfast and a walk. Goals today include cleaning my house and going through the summer clothes.

photo letters

I love the idea of letters from textures, designs, and shapes all around us.

Why is the download quality so stinky? The first picture is of me. The S came from a bench in my front yard. The H is two big trees with the childhood swings that were built for my children. The A is the hanging swing frame. The R is from another bench. The O is on a train window at the park down the road. The N is the Z from our wood transfer door.

I discovered my day-planner is missing. The last time and place I saw it was Feb 7th at my eye doctor's office. The last place I have not searched high and low is my son's house in Oxford.

Saturday, I went and picked up some money from renting one dress and selling one dress through a dress shop in Peidmont. It helps me by giving me a place to store most of my dresses and make some money at the same time.

Tomorrow, I must get busy on my homework for the Bible class I have been involved in. We are studying Esther and it is awesome.

Photography

I went to the eye doctor yesterday, and I saw the coolest thing on her wall. There were seven different pictures of designs, textures, and shapes all mounted on this black rod. The photos were pictures that formed her name. It was so cool. I started on mine today and want Jessica to see it. I formed a collage but still need to gather photos. I am so excited about it. The quality of the downlod stinks. They A is the swing frame.

Pastor Smitty

Sometimes, it is hard to put into words all the special thoughts that we have about people in our lives especially when someone passes. All the emotions come flooding back all at once riding the waves of tremendous memories. In the past, I and many have said, "We all handle death in our own ways," and that statement is still true. Funerals cause turmoil, because while we celebrate the victory for our loved one, we also mourn the loss and company of special people. The smile that lit up their face, the sweet laugh that flavored the air, and their hugs that comforted us leave us to deal with tearful eyes, heavy breaths, and empty arms.

Sunday night, Steve and I went to the visitation service of our dear Pastor Smith. The visitation was more like a church homecoming or family reunion. It was wonderful seeing people who shared this man with us. It is true that the memories they had were not the same as ours, but we all loved him. We comforted each other with stories, held each other with hugs, and shared tears of sadness and joy. It was wonderful to see people we had not seen in years all celebrating one man's life and his love for people. I was so excited coming home and into the night thinking, what a day of rejoicing that will be and posted about my feelings.

Yesterday, I went to the funeral and graveside service. With permission, I was there early to take some pictures of the flowers and set up some camera light settings for the service. First, four ladies sung together two songs to open the service. Pastor TR Harper prayed. I am not sure if he prayed before the opening songs or after. Pastor Harper then spoke about special events and mission trips that he shared with "Smitty," and how that after a few trips, he realised that he was on the trip to help keep Smitty's hair in place.

After Pastor TR spoke, Samantha Brown sang, "We Shall Behold Him," followed by Ricky saying a few words.

He thanked everyone for coming and for the outpouring of comments and respect for his dad and the family. Ricky went on and spoke him being a husband and a father. He said that some people called him Sargeant, some Pastor Smith, some Brother Smith, and some Smitty. "Some of you may call him other things," which brought laughs from the crowd. He went on the say that he had three important things in his life. He had his Savoir and Ricky told of his dad's salvation experience. "Another thing my dad had in his life was his Bible," and Ricky took the Bible carefully and lovingly held it high in the air. He placed it back on the pedestal and went on to say, "The third thing he had, and every good man needs one, is a good woman." Ricky took a rose from the flowers and on his father's behalf, presented it to his mother as we all teared up at this gentle gesture of love and compassion. He then took his seat on the left side of his mother. (Jerry was seated on the right.

Shelton and Samantha sang a song that had been stirring in Shelton since the service had started. He had not planned to do it, but he had permission from the family to do what he felt he needed to do. After they sang, all the singers involved in the service lead the whole congregation in a song. Everyone stood up as we cried and sang, "When We All Get To Heaven," which was the song Brother Smith sang right after getting saved.

Pastor TR closed the service with an altar call. Even in the funeral procession to the Fill Military Graveside Service, I was seeing life differently. Here we were in a line, going through town, driving through stop signs, following the car in front and honoring a man who is still leading the way.

Once the family has had a chance to see the pictures, I may post some.