Monday, December 27, 2010

Crying

Christina flies back to Idaho in the morning. Jamie, her boyfriend, is taking her to the airport so I do not have to sit in my car for 15 minutes and cry before I can drive back home 1.5 hours. She is staying at Jamie's tonight so they can leave and head to Atlanta for her 7:45 flight. She left about 40 minutes ago and I am still crying. Everywhere I look, I see her. A picture on my tree, the blowdryer she used, the drink cup she used right before she left, my husband screen saver, things she left, things we have to ship all taunt me with remembrances of her being home. Maybe she will see the necessity of living closer. I should have screamed and demanded a big NO when she mentioned Idaho. It is so far away. I have plans to watch the airlines for cheap tickets throughout the year and hope to catch a glimpse of her during the year. My face is hot with tears and my heart is aching. I do not want this arrangement. I want my babies home. Then again, if my babies were home, they would probably be under foot. But couldn't we make closer arrangements?

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